Monty Python on Auditors, Accountants, and Embezzlement

If you love John Cleese, Michael Palin, and the rest of the gang from Monty Python as I do, and you are a Certified Public Accountant, Chartered Accountant, auditor, controller, accounting manager, or bookkeeper, then you will love this video and especially appreciate the amusing exchanges between the board of directors, which includes a member of the clergy, no less. LOL! In case you have difficulty understanding “British”, I include the script below:

(A small board meeting. An Accountant stands up and reads…)
Accountant: Lady Chairman, sir, shareholders, ladies and gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that owing to a cutback on surplus expenditure of twelve million Canadian dollars, plus a refund of seven and a half million Deutschmarks from the Swiss branch, and in addition adding the debenture preference stock of the three and three quarter million to the directors’ reserve currency account of seven and a half million, plus an upward expenditure margin of eleven and a half thousand lira, due to a rise in capital investment of ten million pounds, this firm last year made a complete profit of a shilling.

Chairman: A shilling Wilkins?

Accountant: Er, roughly, yes sir.

Chairman: Wilkins, I am the Chairman of a multi-million pound corporation and you are a very new chartered Accountant. Isn’t it possible there may have been some mistake?

Accountant: Well that’s very kind of you sir, but I don’t think I’m ready to be Chairman yet.

Board Member: Wilkins, Wilkins. This shilling, is it net or gross?

Accountant: It’s British sir.

Chairman: Yes, has tax been paid on it?

Accountant: Yes, this is after tax. Owing to the rigorous bite of the income tax five pence of a further sixpence was swallowed up in tax.

Board Member: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: (eagerly) Yes sir.

Chairman: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: That’s right sir.

Chairman: Then where is the other penny?

Accountant: … Er.

Board Member: That makes you a penny short Wilkins. Where is it?

Accountant: … Erm.

Chairman: Wilkins?

Accountant: (in tears) I embezzled it sir.

Chairman: What all of it?

Accountant: Yes all of it.

Board Member: You naughty person.

Accountant: It’s my first. Please be gentle with me.

Chairman: I’m afraid it’s my unpleasant duty to inform you that you’re fired.

Accountant: Oh please, please.

Chairman: No, out!

Accountant: (crying) Oh … (he leaves)

Chairman: Yes, there’s no place for sentiment in big business.

I love it! But do we CPAs understand the British math here? Recall the English coinage system from the days of public accounting before the American Revolution:

Crown=5 pounds
20 shillings/pound
12 pence/shilling
6 pence=1/40th of a pound
5 pence=shilling
penny=1/100th of a pound

What makes this somewhat confusing is that a 5 pence was for a time equal in value to a shilling, even though a shilling was worth 12 pence and a penny is not equivalent to a pence. Leave it to the English to make coinage more complicated than it need be, even though they have been known to write simple songs and nursery rhymes, as “Sing a Song of Sixpence”. Imagine sitting for the CPA exam where all the questions are stated in English coinage.

Monty Python spoofs to the nth degree of absurdity the obsessive compulsiveness of accountants to detail, of which we as public accountants are so often guilty, in addition to everything else in life. What is so delightful about their sketches is that nothing is sacred from their satire. (Do you remember “The Life of Brian”?) So for at least one nano second of your life, be a free spirit, lighten up, laugh at yourself, and remove those myopic glasses that we customarily wear in order to see the forest from the trees! And for God’s sake never steal pennies! If you must be a crook and are determined to steal from your clients, company, family members, or the not-for-profit organization for which you serve as treasurer, then for heaven’s sake, don’t be a moron on top of being a scoundrel….Make it worth your while and steal big!

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice. For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant.

Have a tax or an accounting question? Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants. For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website: Accountants CPA Hartford, LLC.

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If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose. The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein. The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.

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Do you remember the accounting days of old?

I started my career in public accounting in the 1970s.  Our profession then was virtually non-electronic.  I can remember paying $300 for my first pocket calculator, which today would sell for $1.  

One-write systems were the norm.  QuickBooks had not yet been born.   Not too many of our clients utilized the NCR 4400 workhorse, capable of producing a so-called “trial balance”.    Seventeen column worksheets were used to summarize cash disbursements and cash receipts in order to compile an adjusted trial balance.  There was endless footing and cross-footing to arrive at correct totals.  We cranked out numbers all day long.

In the late 70s we witnessed major innovations in electronic equipment for accountants. Texas Instruments introduced the TI-58 and TI-59, allowing us to program calculations on a hand-held calculator. The TI-58 sold for ~$100; the TI-59 sold for ~$200. For the life of me, I cannot recall the difference between the two except for the price. I was gooney enough to part with the $100 for the TI-58. At about the same time appeared Tandy’s Z-80 computer, featuring a RAM of 4k for the ~$800 model, and 12k for the ~$1,200 model, utilizing a small casette recorder for storing written programs and data. Of course, you had to write programs in Basic to have the computer process anything at all. Back in the 1970s, many of us were required to take classes in Basic, Fortran, and COBOL in anticipation of the emergence of computer processing in the small business environment. Needless to say, that was a waste of time and money.

Then in the 1980s appeared the IBM-PCs and clones, selling for between $3,000 to $5,500, offering wordprocessing and spreadsheet applications, including Lotus and WordPerfect.  Cut-and-pasting, thank God, was virtually eliminated by these innovations.  Prior to their advent, all financials were typed.  Drafts for the current year were prepared by penciling in the changes on copies of last year’s financials.  White, sticky, adhesive, rolled strips were typically used to make final revisions on the typed financials after proofing in order to avoid endless re-typings of entire pages.  For major changes, an amended paragraph or section of a footnote or a table was typed on a clean sheet, cut out, and then superimposed with transparent tape over the applicable section of the modified page, after which a “xerox” was made, producing a nearly perfect result:  hence, the term, cut-and-paste.  Since Xerox was the predominant maker of copiers for small businesses back then, we substituted the term “xerox” for a copy produced by a copier. 

We still, however, processed all tax returns manually, computing all tax return schedules and worksheets in pencil, then “xeroxing” our finished work for submission to the tax authorities.  Other tax accountants used an outside computer processing service to generate the finished tax returns; however, that was a luxury many small practitioners could not afford.

Soon we all learned DOS (“Disk Operating System”), and read every book ever written by Peter Norton, trying to master its commands.  I lost track after DOS 5 or DOS 6 of the number of sequential versions of DOS.  In any event, Windows ultimately followed, changing the landscape of the accounting office entirely and ushering in the present generation of computers and users.

It is my understanding that women were not allowed in the Big Eight public accounting world prior to the 1960s; and that certain nationalities, races, and creeds (including Italians) were not employed by them until the 1950s, if not later.  I was informed by my professors that phone books had been distributed to them when they were students of accounting in order to hone their skills in adding long columns of numbers since portable calculators were non-existent.

A lot has changed over my lifetime in accounting.  I welcome, embrace, and love the technology.  But I respect those old timers in accounting.  They did it all without Excel, Word, QuickBooks, ProSeries, Lacerte, ProSystems, etc.  And they did it very well, indeed.  For instance, I worked for a gentleman named James Q. Rice (the “Q” standing for Quackenbush) of Rhodes, Rice and Company, on Lewis Street in Hartford, Connecticut.  Lewis Street was the original financial center in Hartford, Connecticut back in the early 1800s.  In one building where I had worked on Lewis Street, there was still a glass roof, where the “scribes” worked under natural sunlight, there being, of course, no electric lighting then.  I couldn’t imagine working under sunlight from glass above, no less without air conditioning.

Jim Rice was a perfect gentleman, sporting a bow tie to work everyday.  He was very kind and respectful to all members of his staff.  I shall always remember him smiling with a twinkle in his eye, making accounting as fun as it could be.  Jim taught me how to audit, prepare tax returns, compile and review financial statements, and conduct industry analyses for our many small business clients using annual comparatives from Robert Morris Associates.  At the end of each review or audit, Jim had me sitting down with the many owners of these businesses, comparing the results of their operations with those of their competitors in the same industry.  They all appreciated this service; it was a fantastic marketing tool.  Those old time, New England Yankees were always sharp businessmen!

Jim was an avid sailor; in fact, during World War II, he served on a large wooden sailboat in the Coast Guard, patrolling the New England coastline, where he would often hear German submarines going directly underneath his boat.  His first love, I suspect, was not accounting but sailing; and his maritime stories filled many a boring, number-crunching afternoon with adventures I only had read about in Melville novels as a youth.  Naturally, our accounting firm had an auxilliary office down by the shore in Essex, Connecticut, an old sailing town retaining its Federal era architecture.  Every year I had the honor of sending receivable confirmations to noted celebrities belonging to the Essex Yacht Club.  What a thrill it was addressing the confirms and receiving replies to and from an assortment of famous people. 

I owe much to Jim, and I thank him heartily.  I also wish to thank Jim’s two children–Jamie and Prudence–for sending me the above photograph of Jim, taken a number of years after his retirement from public accounting.  Jim’s wife, Norma, worked in the office alongside of him as the office manager and was an invaluable member of the firm.

When I became a public accountant, there were three vacancies for every applicant.  Consequently, our beginning salaries were twice that of teachers.  So I left academia to rake in the shekels.  Alas, what a fool I was.  I could have spent my forty years drawing Cartesian planes on chalk-dust blackboards to half-asleep high school students, working 183 days per year, leaving tire marks in the parking lot at 2:30 PM every afternoon, while earning a livable salary of $80,000 plus (in today’s dollars) and generous benefits, including the best full medical insurance plan for an entire family, and days off for every possible holiday, and then some. 

I guess I am now an old timer, too.  And it is almost time for me to pass the baton onto the next generation.  But I sometimes wonder what future our country holds for our accounting youth.  Will much of our tax and public accounting work be outsourced to India, China, or the Philippines with remote access, VPN, webconference rooms, Skype, computer imaging and processing, and the like?  Will there be another breakthrough in technology further reducing the need for human involvement in accounting or, at least, changing the nature of its involvement?  But, perhaps, you are in a better position to answer these questions than I am, since you are the present and the future in accounting and I, the past.

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant. 

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website:  Accountants CPA Hartford.

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Is the IRS Today’s Mafia? The Confessions of the Barefoot Accountant, a Consigliere to Goombas

Is the IRS Today’s Mafia?

At first, the question may appear to be a foolish question.  But when you examine their all-pervasive power, the ruthlessness of their tactics, and the devastating consequences of their actions, you will discover that the IRS has many similarities to the Mafia:

1. Though they are rarely seen in public, they are everywhere.
2. If you try to hide something from them, they will find it.
3. If you lie to them, you will regret it.
4. If you do not pay them, you will pay dearly.
5. If you do not play by their rules, you will lose everything.
6. If you fight them, you will lose.
7. If you run from them, they will find you.
8. When they catch you, make a good act of contrition because the consequences are deadly.

Recall the fates of Al Capone and Luca Brasi.

You do not want to insult either the IRS or the Mafia, unless you have a death wish and require the thrill of living on the edge for excitement in an otherwise dreary life.  (If you do, I suggest you take up bungee jumping:  it’s a lot safer.)  Consequently, when making an offer in compromise or partial payment installment agreement with the IRS, first do the math to determine the “reasonable collection potential” substantiating your offer.  Don’t just low ball any amount.  About 90% of the offers in compromise are rejected because the offers are simply ridiculous, lacking any credibility.  And you know what happens to those who insult the Don:  they are found hanging on a meat hook in some remote, abandoned warehouse or enshrined in concrete in some bridge abutment.  Neither is a very pleasant prospect.

In addition, when dealing with the Mafooch, bear in mind that offers in compromise consisting of a lump sum payment of cash ordinarily require an upfront, 20% payment of the offer in addition to the $150 processing fee along with the submission of the offer.  Similarly, an offer in compromise consisting of monthly installment payments require the first month’s installment payment plus the $150 processing fee along with the submission of the offer.

Moreover, although it often takes two years to receive an acceptance of the offer, the taxpayer is, nevertheless, required to continue the proposed monthly payments of the pending installment settlement to keep the offer open.  Of course, under either scenario, neither the 20% cash lump sum payment or the two years of monthly installment payments, nor the $150 processing fee, are refundable in the event that the offer is rejected.  The IRS adopts a very hard bargaining posture with the offerers, not unlike that of Don Corleone with his business associates.

When considered altogether—a 10% acceptance history, a two year waiting period, a 20% non-refundable down payment of the total offer or as many as twenty-four non-refundable monthly installments, plus an expensive accounting or legal bill—the offer in compromise may not be an offer that you wish to make at all.  After dragging its heels for two years before making a decision and requiring you to shell out 20% of your total offer upfront, the IRS can deny your offer and keep your money in true Mafioso fashion.

When dealing with the IRS, you’re dealing with an all powerful mob, insensitive to your personal concerns, wishes, problems, and reasons.  Either you pay up or you swim with the fishes.  So proceed with caution.

And, as Michael Corleone advises, if you do decide to make an offer, make an offer that cannot be refused.

In bocca al lupo!


This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant.

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website:  Accountants CPA Hartford.  Please feel free to post a comment below or at:  The Confessions of a Consigliere to Goombas:  Make An Offer That Can’t Be Refused.

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The Hippie CPA

The Hippy CPAYou may ask yourself—if you have virtually no clients and nothing to do or have just been fired for being a loser at a public accounting firm or have just smoked a joint and experienced a profound metaphysical rush—how a former hippie could have found the light, converted, and become a CPA?  The term “hippie CPA” is oxymoronic, if not contradictory, in nature.

Yes, I confess…I was there at Woodstock, saw and heard Jimmy Hendrix play the star spangled banner to 300,000 fans on orange sunshine at sunrise; campaigned for Eugene McCarthy for President during the Vietnam war and obtained the most signatures in Connecticut for him to be placed on the ballot qualifying me to meet him in New York; then worked for Bobby Kennedy and met Ethel at the Kennedy Compound after his death; talked to Abbie Hoffman at an anti-war rally and stole his book; participated in SDS’s takeover of the administration building at the University of Connecticut and by doing such received an “A” grade in Social Organization from a tenured professor subsequently dismissed from the University for being a campus radical….I was there on the left fringes of society attempting to usher in the Great Society, where peace, justice, equal opportunity, and love were to prevail.  Yes, I opposed the corporate state of our country, where 5% of our populace owns 95% of our country’s wealth, where Big Brother multinational corporations control our lives, outsourcing all jobs to distant countries and laying us off at will, leaving us penniless and unable to pay our mortgages and destined to become itinerants as in the Grapes of Wrath….I saw all of this 40 years ago and then forgot and abandoned all of these causes because I needed a job, so I became a CPA, an enemy and traitor to the Great Cause, selling out my former brothers and sisters for 30 pieces of silver….

It’s perhaps unfortunate that too many of us abandoned our youthful ideals out of mercenary needs.  If we had remained united, fighting for all of the causes of the Great Society, opposing the mammoth multinationals, big brother corporations, from controlling our government and our lives, perhaps this recent economic collapse of our country—that was foreseen and predicted by so many Nostradamuses so many years ago—could have been avoided.  How many of you in Accounting Land were there at Woodstock, at the Lincoln Memorial’s peace rally, at Martin Luther’s “I had a dream” speech?  How many of you remember that fleeting moment when we believed our country could have escaped this fate that has now landed on us with the crushing weight of Plymouth Rock, leaving our country broke and broken?  How many of you were there yearning for a better America, where there were good-paying jobs, homes not in foreclosure, universal healthcare, pensions, the provision of better lives for our children, a cleaner environment, an educated populace, equal opportunity for all (including all sexes, races, creeds, sexual preferences, and age groups), the time to appreciate and enjoy our fleeting lives, and world peace?  A country of understanding, tolerance, and loving kindness.  We had a dream and then squandered it, unlike our parents, the greater generation, who defeated Nazism and Fascism during World War II and spawned the middle class from the depths of the Great Depression.   We failed miserably.

We chanted the litany of Madison Avenue, buy on credit beyond our means, we need every nonsense product now at any cost…buy, buy, buy…consume, consume, consume.  Over a lifetime we’ve collected so much junk that we have now run out of landfills to dispose of all of it.  We have become a country of repossessed houses, abandoned factories, unemployed workers, business shells of outsourced businesses, landfills, and junk.  We have squandered all of our resources and have violated every creed of the conservationists.  We are now wasting our most valuable natural resource:  the human resource, unemploying and underemploying our labor force.  We have failed miserably.

As a nation, our national debt spiraled from $250 billion after World War II to $12 trillion.  We create wars for the multinational defense industries—that industrial military complex that President Eisenhower warned us about—to profit by.  $300 billion here this year; $300 billion there next year.  Tuitions have skyrocketed, children can no longer afford higher education, the dream of an educated populace has been forgotten and forfeited.

The angels are our accountants in heavenI believe angels are the accountants in heaven, debiting and crediting the actions of our everyday lives.  They have posted every transaction, recording it faithfully, shaking their heads in disbelief at our performance, recording all of the penalties and fines we have so justly incurred.  We have undone all that our parents had accomplished:  a home for every family; an education for every child; available jobs, livable wages, financial security.  So really, in all honesty, when it’s all done and over with, when our cardiac arrest train inevitably does arrive as suddenly and scary as the third, grim reaper spirit in “A Christmas Carol”, should we then be surprised to learn that we have received anything but a failing grade for the contribution to humanity of our entire life’s work?

Mea culpa.

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant. 

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website:  Accountants CPA Hartford.

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Laura Madeira’s book, “QuickBooks 2010 Solutions Guide”, is a must read!

This book—QuickBooks 2010 Solutions Guide—contains a wealth of information for certified public accountants who receive QuickBooks files from their clients.  As CPAs we receive files in various states of condition; however, since we are billing out our time to clients who carefully watch our hours, we need to find and fix the errors in our clients’ QuickBooks files quickly. Laura Madeira provides a book full of tools to help the CPA and other users of QuickBooks to not only set up QuickBooks correctly for a company, but also to find the errors in the company’s data and to correct them tout de suite.

QuickBooks 2010 Solutions GuideThe CPA’s QuickBooks tools are nicely organized in chapters easily retrievable by subject area and accounts of interest. In chapter 2, the book reviews methods to troubleshoot and correct chart of account issues, the origin of many QuickBooks problems found in client files and thus a great place to begin your overhaul of your clients’ QuickBooks files. In chapter 3, finding and fixing “item” errors (one of the most important items to understand in QuickBooks) is discussed in detail. Chapter 5 is packed with information for the auditor, or anyone reviewing the integrity of the QuickBooks data in a company file, including troubleshooting account balances, tracking changes to closed accounting periods (a customary requirement of the CPA since clients are notorious for retroactively contaminating prior periods), using the audit trail and the voided/deleted transactions reports, documenting changes made to a data file, etc. Chapter 6 focuses on reviewing bank reconciliations, with a section devoted to troubleshooting an incorrectly reconciled bank account. In similar fashion, chapters 7 through 14 devote sections on troubleshooting and correcting errors involving accounts receivable, undeposited funds, other current asset accounts, inventory, accounts payable, sales taxes, opening balance equity, and payroll, respectively.

Although this is a great book for any serious user of QuickBooks, it is “the” reference book for the certified public accountant reviewing clients’ files in QuickBooks. Whenever I travel out to a client who uses QuickBooks, I always bring along a copy of QuickBooks 2010 Solutions Guide just in case I need to refer to it. It’s a “must” book to own: so go buy, read, and reread!  It is available on Amazon.

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified.  All comments are welcomed here and there.

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If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose. The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein. The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor .

Posted in Accountants CPA Hartford, Articles | Tagged , | 1 Comment

The Morning After the Battle of Tenaru

Like John Basilone on the morning of August 21st after the Battle of the Tenaru, surveying the endless corpses strewn across the Guadalcanal battlefield along the perimeter of Henderson airfield, feeling totally enervated and dazed, I open my office door on April 16th to Tartarus and see shades of boxes, papers, envelopes, folders, files, cabinet drawers, books, wrappers of Snickers and Starburst, and M&M peanuts lying here, there, and everywhere.   As lifeless as the shades of heroes on the Fields of Asphodel after quenching their insatiable thirsts in the pools of Lethe, I had survived another endless tax season of countless bonsai charges of crazed clients across the river Matanikau.  Why I sojourn to Hades with the regularity of a faithful Persephone for three months every year for the few shekels I charge is beyond me and Platonic reasoning.  My wife thinks I am nuts and that I should go directly to Hades and remain there for eternity, since my tax season stress is killing her.  Methinks my four cats agree.

And do my clients appreciate my low fees and sleepless nights on their behalf?  Absolutely not.  With deductive reasoning as adroit as that of Aristotle, if not as clever as that of a Sophist, they deduce that since my fees are modest in comparison to those of other certified public accountants, that so must the quality of my services be proportionately inferior to those of the higher priced CPAs.  Duh?!

I am ready to rejoin the land of the living, where nightly walks are now possible, a few moments of affection with a demanding kitty are now enjoyed without guilt, and even a few amorous minutes with my beloved before she enters la la land can be indulged.  So why on April 18th do I find myself before a computer screen, typing an entry into my blog when the sun is shining here in Berlin, Connecticut and the temperature is approaching 55 degrees, and the hyacinths, crocuses, and daffodils are blooming and the twenty bird feeders in my backyard need replenishing?  Dunno:  probably out of CPA habit, but I’m out of here now.  And I heartedly recommend the same to all.  We’re all wasted, and now it’s playtime.  Go outside and play.

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant.

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified.

——————————————————————————–
If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose. The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein. The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.
Posted in Accountants CPA Hartford, Articles | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

How much is 2 plus 2?

In his classic book about the accounting profession, Unaccountable Accounting:  Games Accountants Play, Abraham Briloff recounts a supposedly true story suggesting the primary criterion corporations employed in selecting their public accounting firms.  In the event that you may not have heard this story, I wish to tell it here and now, since it may still have relevance in our current times. 

Once upon a time in accounting land, there lived eight big giants:  Arthur Andersen; Ernst & Ernst; Haskins & Sells; Lybrand, Ross Bros. & Montgomery; Peat, Marwick, Mitchell; Price Waterhouse; Touche, Ross; and Arthur Young.  These public accounting firms were regarded as gods by everyone in the business community and the accounting profession.  Whenever they spoke, everyone listened.  And whatever they signed, the business community accepted as gospel.

An executive of a corporation wishing to go public interviewed the partners of these various “Big Eight” accounting firms.  He needed their seal of approval on his financials in order to enhance the valuation of his corporation’s stock offering.  In each interview, all he asked of the partners from each public accounting firm was the following simple question:  “How much is 2 plus 2?”  Virtually all of the partners of the Big Eight accounting firms, thinking that the executive was a complete idiot, simply replied, “4, of course”,—that is, all but one partner from a Big Eight firm, who paused and remained silent for a considerable period of time, not replying with the obvious answer that the other interviewees had immediately spurted out.  His response, after some serious reflection, was, “What number did you have in mind?”  Needless to say, upon hearing what he wanted to be understood, the executive selected this partner’s public accounting firm.

Back then in 1972 when the book was written, Abraham Briloff did not think very highly of GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles), preferring his own acronym, CRAP (Cleverly Rigged Accounting Ploys), to describe the profession’s accounting methodologies.  In fact, Briloff felt that the Big Eight firms in particular had been selling out their requisite professional posture of independence, especially in regard to their audit clients.

The question today, of course, is how much has really changed in the last 40 years?  I would be interested in hearing Briloff”s reply; I suspect that he might say, “not very much”.  Abraham Briloff was, and remains so in his writings, an important gadfly and watchdog of the accounting profession, a voice of its collective conscience.  Regrettably, as long as accounting firms are hand picked by their clients, the question raised by Briloff many years ago will continue to haunt, if not tarnish, our profession:  how truly independent and objective can accountants afford to be?  Was Briloff too cynical believing that we as professionals would never bite the hands that feed us?  Or are we too willing to be naive?

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice. For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant. 

Have a tax or an accounting question? Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants. For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, The Barefoot Accountant:  Accounting and Taxes Simplified. 


If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose. The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein. The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.

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I’m mad. Why aren’t CPAs volunteering to help businesses and individuals here in our economic disaster?

Don’t get me wrong.  I think it’s wonderful that CPAs are volunteering to assist those poor souls in Haiti.  I congratulate and thank them.  And I am not equating our country’s situation to that in Haiti, where hundreds of thousands of lives have been lost.  That is truly tragic and heart-breaking.  However, where have these CPAs been for the past year during our economic disaster?  People here have been losing their jobs; businesses have been going under; millions have been unable to afford health insurance (my wife, a cancer survivor of 7 years, was denied health insurance by Aetna and Blue Cross/Blue Shield and others); millions have been losing their homes in a national disaster that may eventually equal, if not exceed, the great depression.  Isn’t our current and expected economy a national disaster, too, requiring a state of national emergency?  However, I haven’t seen one accounting firm offer to help.  Have you?  If so, please step forward and let us know.

I’m mad.  I’m mad at voting for Obama for real change, and then seeing billions given to those responsible for this calamity, while millions of victims were laid off by those responsible.  I’m mad that executives of banks receiving TARP money received billions in bonuses from those funds.  I’m mad that viable solutions to the subprime mortgage crisis have been proposed by the best brains in our country at Wharton and Stamford, only to have been ignored by our leaders.  I’m mad over the Supreme Court’s latest ruling allowing Corporations to give unlimited funds to political candidates.  But I’m really mad at the American citizenry for not getting as mad as me.  Somehow we have all become too complacent and dignified, feeling it is inappropriate to get mad.  Thank, God, our forefathers got really mad over a tea tax.  As Howard Beale ranted, you first got to get mad; hopefully, action—real change—will then follow.

When will the American people, certified public accountants, accountants, and others unite in a voice for real change in our country?  Can they?  Will they?  Not likely.  Again, that’s what truly makes me mad.  We all know that the jobs will not return, not when there is so much talent abroad willing to work for as little as $.25 per hour.  And we all suspect that millions of more jobs will be lost.  I have a small public accounting practice, and half my clients are considering bankruptcy; many fear losing their homes; some cannot pay their taxes.  And if you own an accounting practice, won’t you be affected, too, by your clients losing their businesses, their jobs, and their homes?  Do you think they will continue to pay you to do their accounting and tax work?  If their businesses fail today, yours will follow tomorrow.

It’s time for CPAs as professionals to get more involved and stop burying their heads in their cubicles, ticking, checking, footing, and cross-footing ad infinitum.  It’s time for some kind of action.  At the very least, get mad; speak up:  even a nerd can be heard.  Offer to help small businesses and individuals here, struggling to survive.  On October, 12, 2009, I issued a press release, offering assistance to small businesses and individuals in dire need of assistance.  A copy of the press release is available at http://www.cpa-connecticut.com/accounting-tax-assistance-press-release.html.  I encourage all of you to get involved.  I thank you in advance.

Please forgive my bombast, but I’m mad.

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant. 

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified.

If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose.  The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein.  The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.

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Is it time to give your CPA the boot?

Give Your Current CPA the BootIt’s that time of year again to assemble all of your financial information and bring it to your Certified Public Accountant. However, some of you may be dissatisfied with your current Certified Public Accountant and are contemplating a change.
 
In a mailing to business owners back in 2003, I included the following list of the Top 10 Questions for them to ask themselves in order to determine if it was time to change certified public accountants:
  1. Do you grab your chest when you open your CPA’s bills?
  2. Do you feel shunned by your CPA whenever you call his office?
  3. Are you tired of seeing a new face handling your account each year?
  4. Are extensions your CPA’s MO?
  5. Are you no longer shocked when you receive an IRS notice?
  6. Do you find yourself auditing the work of your CPA?
  7. Do you suspect that your CPA never heard of tax planning?
  8. Can’t remember the last time your CPA discussed his findings with you?
  9. When you receive your financials, is it already time for next year’s?
  10. Do you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, worrying about an IRS audit?
A lot has changed since 2003, especially in regard to information processing. Moreover, the American economy has been suffering from a meltdown for over a year—which may last many more years to come. Consequently, considering whether or not to change CPAs may even be more necessary and urgent now than ever before. In light of this, in addition to the 10 questions listed above, I decided to compile a list of 10 things to be especially on the lookout for to assist you in deciding whether now is the time to change CPAs.
 
My Top 10 List for Knowing When It’s Time to Give Your Current CPA the Boot!
 
  1. Your CPA brags about all the money he made on investment referrals to Bernard Madoff’s Investment Securities.
  2. The cover letter accompanying your tax return is in Sanskrit, bearing a New Delhi address.
  3. You received a wedding invitation of your CPA’s marriage to his prison cellmate, Buster.
  4. Your CPA included your dog, Muffy, as a dependent on your 2008 Form 1040.
  5. Your CPA billed you for a 2008 Form 1040 tax return filed for Muffy.
  6. Your CPA’s tax organizer asks you for all of your credit and debit card numbers, CVV numbers, PIN numbers, expiration dates, and names as they appear on the cards.
  7. Your financial statements and tax returns appear on his website as testimonials.
  8. Your CPA off-handedly mentions that he recently hired some big mafooch named Guido to handle collections.
  9. Your CPA text messages his attorney always before signing your financial statements and tax returns.
  10. Over drinks your CPA lets it slip out that that correspondence course—found on the back of a matchbook cover—sure paid off for him.
 
Perhaps you have a few tips to share about knowing when to change CPAs.
 

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified.


If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose.  The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein.  The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.

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Beware the Ides of March and April, QuickBooks Users!

Beware the Ides of March and April, QuickBooks Users!

Tax time is here for S Corps, Limited Liability Companies, Sole Proprietorships, and many C Corps. And many rely on QuickBooks as their accounting software. And every year starting about now, we certified public accountants receive these companies’ QuickBooks files in various states of condition: a few pretty clean; some OK; most a mess. Why are so many of these files a total wreck when QuickBooks has been hailed as the miracle worker of small business accounting?

 
The majority of these QuickBooks’ messes result from users who are not formal accountants. It would be fair to say that most users wouldn’t know a debit from a credit even if their lives depended on such. Somehow small business owners have acquired this mind set that if they merely purchase and install QuickBooks, that virtually anyone can become an accountant and process their accounting records. Not necessarily so. It is true that QuickBooks can be a powerful accounting tool for many small businesses. But this is dependent upon the following conditions:
 
  1. QuickBooks having been set up correctly;
  2. The user understanding the intricacies of the software;
  3. And the user understanding at least basic bookkeeping. 
Satisfying all three of these conditions in a small business is as likely as Senator Joe Lieberman advocating the public option of the health care bill next week.
 
I have witnessed many business owners delegating the bookkeeping function to their spouse, to an individual passing themselves off as a QuickBooks guru without an understanding of bookkeeping, and even to themselves, after working out in the field all day in their trade or profession.   Money is always tight for small businesses—now more than ever—and owners of small businesses inevitably scrimp on the bookkeeping function, relegating it to the bottom of their list of priorities. They feel that if QuickBooks is the do-it-all accounting software, then they can hire anyone at $10 to $20 per hour to input their company data, and that all of their financial information will just fall into place. Again: not necessarily so. In fact, quite the contrary may ensue, and herein lies the irony: these non-accountants can, and often do, make a total mess of one’s accounting records.
 
Perhaps you know from first hand experience from having been lulled by one of those major home improvement stores into believing that you could undertake a home improvement project yourself, such as tearing down walls, ripping out plumbing, rewiring rooms, only to end up making a mess, leaving it half done or hiring a professional to salvage your house, and ultimately costing you five times more than it would have cost you if you had hired a professional to do it in the first place.
 
And so with small businesses and their bookkeeping. QuickBooks with its focus on visual features and mouse clicking as opposed to text fields, unattractive tables, and spreadsheets, lulls its user into feeling competent in its use. But allowing someone who does not have a solid knowledge of bookkeeping to process your business transactions in QuickBooks could end up ultimately costing you many times more in “repair” bills than if you had a qualified professional handling your bookkeeping or accounting function. However, if you insist on being chintzy and having a lowly paid employee without solid bookkeeping skills enter your company’s data into QuickBooks, here are a few suggestions:
 
  1. Have that employee only enter cash receipts and cash disbursements. Don’t overburden him or her with any complicated accounting entries involving RESPAs, WIP accounts, prepaids, overhead application, etc.
  2. Have the individual enter the transactions utilizing QuickBooks “forms” rather than using general journal entries. If your data entry person only took a bookkeeping course years ago in high school, restrict him or her from making journal entries in your QuickBooks company’s file.
  3. When engaging a certified public accountant, hire one who knows QuickBooks inside out. Unfortunately, many do not. It’s not difficult to assess your outside accountant’s knowledge of QuickBooks: ask him or her some technical questions about QuickBooks and listen carefully to the answers given. For instance, ask him or her the meaning and significance of the terms “source” and “target” as used in QuickBooks.  If he or she does not know, it would be advisable to find someone who does know.  At the very least, your CPA should also be a Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor. 
Your accounting records are too valuable of an asset to entrust to just anyone. Most small business owners forget the investment of time and money required in the set up of the software, the data entry processed over the years, as well as the intermittent clean up work provided by outside consultants. Protect this investment from damage by restricting its access to only those qualified in its use. Otherwise, your QuickBooks accounting mess may cost you thousands and thousands of dollars of clean up in the end, if not every year.

 

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant.

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it to William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Hartford CPA Accountants.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website, Accountants CPA Hartford, and our blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified.


If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose.  The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein.  The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor.

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