The scary humor of Mitt Romney: where the heck is a time machine when you need one?

I don’t know whether to laugh or to flee the country out of fear. If I knew Mitt Romney would surely be defeated in November, although I am not in love with President Obama, I would be pissing in my pants laughing hysterically at everything that comes out of the mouth of Mitt Romney. Yes, truth is stranger than fiction, but, folks, what Mitt Romney is asking us to swallow is not truth and it’s so far out that it’s not what can be classified—either by Dewey or the Library of Congress—as conventional fiction.

According to Ed Gillespie, Mitt claims that, even though he received an annual salary of at least $100,000 for his services as the chief executive of Bain Capital for a number of years after 1999, and even though he signed and filed reports to the SEC describing his position at Bain Capital as the “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president”, he had, in fact, “retroactively retired” in 1999!!!  As Jon Stewart correctly ponders in his video, did Mitt Romney have a time machine in order to travel back in time from 2002 so that he could then retire in 1999???

This is not fiction as we ordinarily know it:  isn’t it more like science fiction from The Twilight Zone? Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.

Nuclear BombAnd isn’t it kind of crazy for anyone to utter such nonsense about retroactive retirement and expect everyone to believe it?!  But what is so very scary to me about this kind of talk is that it is presumably coming from a Presidential candidate, someone representing the very best of a nation, to lead its citizens of 300 million people:  someone entrusted by those 300 million poor souls with the power to push a nuclear button and blow up the entire world?!!!!  Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.

Joseph SmithAnd let us not also forget that this is the same man who supposedly believes that some guy (i.e., Joseph Smith) born in Sharon, Vermont in 1805 was in some sense “divine” in ways to the nth degree:  divine inspiration, divine revelation, divine manifestation, divine calling, divine mission, divine origins….Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.

God lives on KolobAnd that this divine-ish guy, Joseph Smith, believed that the physical throne of God is located on the planet Kolob (never identified by astronomers yet). And this Mormon follower, Mitt Romney, might become our next President?! Anyone wanna go to Kolob?

Oh, my God….Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.

Well…perhaps Mitt Romney has had some divine revelations, too, incomprehensible to us mere mortals, to account for his transmigration of his soul from 2002 to 1999 so that he could retire retroactively?  Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.

Isn’t it kind of ironic that the Christian fundamentalists will vote for a guy who supposedly believes that Joseph Smith was divine-ish and that God, according to the Mormon Book of Abraham, lives on the planet Kolob?!?!

LOL! Pretty scary stuff for Presidential material, isn’t it?

About William Brighenti

William Brighenti is a Certified Public Accountant, Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor, and Certified Business Valuation Analyst. Bill began his career in public accounting in 1979. Since then he has worked at various public accounting firms throughout Connecticut. Bill received a Master of Science in Professional Accounting degree from the University of Hartford, after attending the University of Connecticut and Central Connecticut State University for his Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts degrees. He subsequently attended Purdue University for doctoral studies in Accounting and Quantitative Methods in Business. Bill has instructed graduate and undergraduate courses in Accounting, Auditing, and other subjects at the University of Hartford, Central Connecticut State University, Hartford State Technical College, and Purdue University. He also taught GMAT and CPA Exam Review Classes at the Stanley H. Kaplan Educational Center and at Person-Wolinsky, and is certified to teach trade-related subjects at Connecticut Vocational Technical Schools. His articles on tax and accounting have been published in several professional journals throughout the country as well as on several accounting websites. William was born and raised in New Britain, Connecticut, and served on the City's Board of Finance and Taxation as well as its City Plan Commission. In addition to the blog, Accounting and Taxes Simplified, Bill writes a blog, "The Barefoot Accountant", for the Accounting Web, a Sift Media publication.
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2 Responses to The scary humor of Mitt Romney: where the heck is a time machine when you need one?

  1. michael-leonard says:

    “Retroactive retirement” really isn’t so outrageous, after all Mormon’s also believe they can “retroactively baptise” Jews.

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